How To Help Someone Having An Anxiety Or Panic Attack

Anxiety and panic attacks are physical manifestations of an anxiety disorder. An individual can experience anxiety or panic attacks in a variety of different situations. When an individual has a panic or anxiety disorder, they have a higher chance of experiencing unprompted or irrational panic attacks. Anxiety attacks can last for longer than panic attacks, but they also tend to have milder symptoms. Someone having an anxiety attack may have an elevated heartbeat, rapid breathing, and increased feelings of stress. For the most part, panic attacks last for ten minutes at the most, but they have much sharper symptoms. An individual having a panic attack might experience pressure or squeezing on their chest, difficulty breathing, a rapid heartbeat, and intense feelings of fear.

Many individuals often wonder about what they can do to help a loved one experiencing a panic or anxiety attack but are quite unsure. While there can be some variance, here are the most common pieces of advice for situations like this.

Stay Calm And Collected

Panic attacks can seem frightening to witness. You may not be sure what to do when your friend or family member seems unable to control their fear. However, panic attacks are much scarier for the individual experiencing them. To support your loved one, the best thing you can do is to stay calm and collected. Remember the situation isn't about you. If you need to talk about it with them, you can do so later, once they've recovered from the episode. In the moment, your focus needs to be on helping them feel safe and giving them the time to calm down. During a panic attack, an individual's body is being flooded by fear signals, and they can't control their responses to things. It's scary enough to feel out of control, and if those around them also seem panicked, it will just feed into the attack. The best way to convince them there isn't anything to be afraid of is by acting like there's nothing to be afraid of. Keep your posture neutral, your voice calm, and your volume low and soothing.

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Ask What They Need

One of the most important things you can do is to ask what the person needs. Whether it's a stranger or a close loved one, you have to remember you're not inside their head. You also have to remember different individuals have different needs when it comes to recovering from panic. What works for one individual might cause increased fear in another. For this reason, even if you've seen others have panic attacks before, you should still ask the individual what they need. Doing this also lets them know you're listening, that you want to help, and that they have some measure of control over the situation. Some individuals might want to be hugged during a panic attack, since the weight and pressure can be grounding. However, others might be completely averse to being touched. You should never touch a person having a panic attack without getting permission first. If they're hyperventilating or too panicked to speak, assure them you're here for them and sit quietly with them until they're able to communicate their needs.

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Encourage Them To Breathe

Another way you can help soothe the individual having a panic attack is by encouraging them to breathe. However, don't be forceful about it. If you demand they take deep breaths or act harshly, you are quite likely to just make their anxiety worse. Being encouraged to breathe can sometimes be frustrating for those having panic attacks, since they don't always have control over it. If it seems like the encouragement is doing more harm than good, use other means of soothing them. One way to help with breathing is by doing active breathing exercises with the individual rather than just telling them to take a deep breath. Have them breathe in with you for a count of four, then exhale for a count of eight. If they can't manage that, try breathing in for a count of two and then out for a count of four. The most important thing is for them to exhale longer than they inhale. This helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which acts in opposition to the adrenal system by giving the body signals that it's safe.

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Offer Reassurance

You can help someone having a panic attack or anxiety attack by offering reassurance. Sometimes the attack will have been caused by something specific, and sometimes it will seem to come out of nowhere. If it was caused by a specific circumstance, do your best to remove the person from the setting, even if it's just temporarily. Keep others from staring or overwhelming them. If the attack was brought on by life circumstances or bad news, don't try to problem-solve. Problem-solving can wait for after the attack. In the moment, you want to keep their brain from fixating on the issue instead of chewing on it. Sit with the individual and reassure them you'll stay with them until they're feeling better. Remind them they're safe as gently as possible. Let them know you'll help them however they need, whether that's contacting someone to pick them up, helping work through an issue, or getting them to a quiet space to decompress.

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What Not To Say

Just as there are a lot of things you can do and say to help someone calm down from a panic or anxiety attack, there are also things you shouldn't say. One important thing to keep in mind is you shouldn't say anything invalidating. The individual having the attack is already aware they're not reacting rationally, and there's a good chance they're berating themselves for not having a rational response. Telling them their fear is irrational won't help, because it doesn't stop the fear from happening. You also shouldn't tell them things aren't that bad; they already know that, and being reminded can increase feelings of guilt and shame. Don't be harsh or demanding, don't tell them to pull themselves together, and don't touch them without their consent. You also shouldn't laugh at or belittle them. Even if the panic attack seems incomprehensible to you, it feels very real to them, and you should be respectful of that.